Can forgiveness be real when reconciliation never comes? When Forgiveness Does Not Reopen the Door For a long time I believed forgiveness and reconciliation were two halves of the same ending. If you forgave someone, the relationship was supposed to open back up. If it stayed closed, maybe the forgiveness wasn't real. My life has taught me the two don't always show up together. The Work I Had to Do Inside I learned a four-phrase forgiveness practice from a massage instructor

After years of estrangement, my mother and I made good memories together. A difficult interview and Dr. Janet Steinkamp’s response to my book brought me back to what I can choose and what I cannot control.