Being Here for It: Present in Daily Life

Who am I becoming, and how much control do I have over it?

What Becoming Means to Me

When I say “Becoming,” I mean paying attention to my life while I am living it. I cannot control everything that changes around me. I can notice what is happening and choose how I respond.

Most days, it is easy to slide into autopilot. I do the familiar things, my mind runs ahead to whatever comes next, and I miss what is right in front of me. Being intentional starts when I slow down long enough to notice where I am and actually show up for it.

Catching Myself on Autopilot

Have you ever driven somewhere and realized, once you arrived, that you did not remember much of the drive?

You stopped at red lights, used your turn signals, and paid attention to traffic. Maybe you even sang along with the radio. You did everything you needed to do, yet your mind was somewhere else. It may have been caught up in work, replaying a conversation, or thinking about what came next.

That is what being on autopilot can feel like. I am doing what needs to be done while my mind is somewhere else.

It makes me wonder how often I move through life that way. How many conversations, ordinary moments, and experiences do I barely remember because my attention was elsewhere? How much of my life am I living, and how much am I simply functioning?

Paying Attention to What Is Here

Right now, I am standing near the water as the sun comes up. The first light hits the surface, and the birds begin calling.

I look down and see fiddler crabs working their way along the shore. The males carry one claw much larger than the other. One of them waves it at nothing in particular, then keeps going. So much is happening that I would miss completely if I only took in the sunrise as one big picture.

I keep an eye on the water too. Maybe a dolphin will break the surface. I hear the birds and the water lapping against the shore. The air smells like salt and damp earth. The morning feels cool against my face, then the sun reaches me and my skin begins to warm.

I am not merely watching a sunrise. I am inside the experience, surrounded by its sounds, smells, movement, and changing light.

A photograph can show me later what the sky looked like. It cannot hold the rest of it. It cannot carry the birds, the salt air, or the feeling of sunlight warming my skin. If I spend the entire time looking at my phone, I lose most of the morning.

What I Can Control

Presence is something I can practice.

I stop for a minute. I look around. I listen. I notice what I am feeling and what is shifting. Then I carry that attention into the rest of my day, into a conversation, and into time with someone I love.

I do not want to be in the room while my mind is somewhere else.

I cannot control the sunrise, the tide, or most of what changes in my life. I can choose to notice what is happening and become part of it. The more I practice, the easier that choice becomes.

That is part of what I explore in 50 Things at 50. Becoming does not require having complete control over life. Sometimes it begins by meeting the life already happening in front of us.

Returning to the Moment

Who am I becoming, and how much control do I have over it?

I cannot control everything life hands me. I can pay attention and decide how I meet it. That choice becomes part of who I am.

Where are you living on autopilot right now? What might you notice if you slowed down long enough to be fully present?