July 2026: Learning to Pay Attention
Updated: Aug 16
Where My Energy Goes
On July 1, I walked away from a community project I had already invested weeks in.
The project itself was not bad. I had simply reached the point where I was putting more energy into keeping it alive than I wanted to keep giving it.
That decision forced me to look at something I usually do not like admitting.
Just because I have already invested time in something does not mean I owe it more.
Sometimes paying attention means recognizing where my energy belongs now, not defending where I put it yesterday.
When the Body Gets a Vote
I also started paying much closer attention to my health.
I established a physical baseline. I experimented with fasting, food, movement, rest, and alcohol. Some intentions lasted. Others barely got started.
What mattered most was beginning to notice the difference between what I believed about myself and what my body was actually telling me.
After a stretch without alcohol, I noticed clearer thinking, steadier energy, and a stronger sense of being present in my own life.
That did not answer every question.
It gave me better ones.
Instead of simply asking whether I should or should not do something, I started asking what I am actually looking for in the moment and what the choice will cost me in Health, Wealth, or Relationships.
I am still working on that one.
The Trip That Refused to Follow the Plan
Neda and I also spent a few days exploring the springs around Crystal River and Weeki Wachee.
There was rain.
There were mosquitoes.
We managed to get a park ticket.
Plans changed more than once.
None of it ruined the trip.
We paddleboarded, snorkeled, explored clear water, and saw manatees.
At Weeki Wachee, we were floating back down the river when a manatee suddenly came up behind us and swam right past, close enough that I could have reached out toward it.
Neda caught it on video.
For a few seconds, we were simply there with it.
I do not need to turn that into some profound message from the universe.
The experience was enough.
We were outside, together, doing something we wanted to do, adjusting to the day instead of demanding that the day cooperate with us.
That feels a lot like the kind of life I want more of.
Useful to Someone
One other thing happened in July that stayed with me.
A beta reader told me that 50 Things at 50 was affecting how she thought about her own life.
What moved me was not that she liked the book.
It was that something I had lived through and decided to write honestly about had become useful to somebody else.
That matters to me.
There is a big ugly world out there, and it is always trying to kick somebody in the teeth. If telling the truth about my own life gives another person a little light to find their way by, that gives all this writing a reason beyond simply telling my story.
What July Left Me With
July did not prove that Becoming works.
It did not prove that I have mastered The Observer, The Four Phrases, Reason for Being, or Going With the Flow.
It did something much more useful.
It made me pay closer attention.
I noticed where my energy was going.
I noticed what my body was telling me.
I noticed how quickly a plan can change without ruining the experience.
I noticed that usefulness sometimes shows up where I was not expecting it.
Some things changed because I noticed them.
Some things are still unresolved.
For the first month, I think that is enough.
Behind Becoming goes deeper than these Field Notes. Fellow Travelers receive the fuller monthly letter with the stories, contradictions, questions, and details that do not all belong in the public version.
If you want to follow the experiment from the inside, you can become a Fellow Traveler and continue walking through it with me.
Chuck
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